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Complacency

by Johnny Football Hero

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1.
Am I just unfazed or am I just dumb (Feel the start if the spiraling) When I feel at all I just seem so numb (Thoughts of relapse so frightening) So I wast my time by doing nothing Cause something is far too much And I'm not quite living Just existing So how do I put out These daunting flames surrounding me Stupid brain You fucked me over yet again today Focus gone and I can't seem to replace Did I lose or did I just misplace My minds a train I lost the tracks Now I Feel myself start to derail
2.
41 02:29
This heavy chest is suffocating me And I anguish searching for release I clench my fist but can't seem to escape the disbelief And maybe if I take a little drive Raise my hands and then just close my eyes I'll take away the burden that I am to all inside (Wear your brave face Wear your brave face) I really don't think I can fake it today, no I really don't think I can fake it today, no
3.
So I'll lay here This twin size grave Shades of light beige Colored Grey Rising tides don't threaten me If I'm flailing save yourself What's left to give I've drained it all Run out the clock Ignore the call Where I should be So far away This place ain't safe But what's worth the chase Where have I gone Who's this now Gold heart gilded empty cage Yearn for small crumbs of your care Worth the cruel words and despair I guess I just miss your touch Even though you bruise So kick the crutch Make me crawl I deserve your truth Let it ruin you as the hell burns its way through Our home's an empty room These moving boxes killing me So this is what I get For sharing all my vulnerabilities
4.
Break up Break down Cycle again and Break up Break down Cycle on through the pain Destruct destroy Halt the progression Destruct destroy Bathe in your new depression I'm twenty five I'm burning out and running empty on bliss Laughing at the thought of two more quarters of this My dad keeps hounding me that I should go to school for a trade While my mother views my failures as just flaws in my brain Time to open up these wounds with this new group therapy It's quite expensive quite intensive going four days a week Changing hurts and I hate pain so maybe this ain't for me This hell's so cozy, so damn cozy, so damn cozy Fuck! Here we go Back through the motions Fear the low Lowest emotions Cut me out Cut me out from you Disregard all that we went through Here we go Back through the motions Feel the low Lowest emotions This is what the damage can do This is what the damage can do Now every single insecurity It gets the best of me and blinds all that I see Now every time I see the city lights I think of all the fights and harming out of spite And every single drive down 95 I feel so damn alive without you by my side Thief you stole a real big part of me A real big part of me A real big part of me Is life just entropy Is this what's left for me Well I can find my way Just take it day by day
5.
Aurora 03:51
Shedding skin so bruised and scarred The pain is fierce I guess this is how I'll get far And as the leaves fall to the the ground The end of warm nights show me what I haven't found But it's still there Deep inside a hollowed heart Dreams of past late at night Tear apart Dance with me In the trees Laugh and cry Memories This dance just cannot last I have to let you know These ties bound to our past I have to let them go I don't care if I'm not enough For all but me and I won't let you call my bluff The good the bad from what was had I'm gracious for but it's time that I don't look back It will be there Deep inside A better heart I'll still repair And I might cry But that's just fine
6.
I've felt your pain So scared and drained Now when you look into the mirror Scars you have are growing clearer Much clearer That chip off your should is growing much colder But I've got my jacket and can't hear your racket no longer No longer Let's ride through the changes as life rearranges From days spent in your bed giving into the dread It's okay to be low Complacency is hard to curb But I can speed and still not swerve I've put a lot of work in me As well as in my Lancer GT Depression intensive reflection extensive So how do you rise up when boot straps don't pull up You just can't You just can't Tomato tomato La Villa Strangiato I'll see you tomorrow Don't fill me with sorrow I just can't Can't bear it (Move on) I'm not okay but I'm just fine I think I'll get there with some time If I'm complacent how have I moved on through Cause I'd rather die than put up with your abuse I don't care where the hell I'm going As long as I'm moving on And if you see me in the future Just smile and nod

credits

released July 16, 2021

All songs written by Reilly James, co-written by Misha Datskovsky, Addison Rider.

Produced, Mixed, Engineered, Mastered by Zach Brown at Philadelphia Music Studios in Roxborough, Philadelphia, PA.

Artwork by Maeve McGlinchey

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Johnny Football Hero Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Emo/Post Hardcore trio from Philadelphia, PA consisting of Reilly James on guitar/lead vocals, Misha Datskovsky on drums/unclean vocals , and Addison Rider on bass/vocals

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